Signs in the dark..

Thud! a Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett.

The Dwarf bled alone in the mud and darkness....

There once was a time when Sam was one of only three policeman in anka-morpork. He was for the most part drunk, greasy, single, happy and as free as a bird. Sadly not any more. Sam Vimes is the current Duke of Anka-Morpork and police chief of the same he has a wife, a butler and worst of all responsibility. Though he is ashamed to admit it, he is loving it.

These perks do not come without problems to solve. The Dwarfs are getting angry and secretive, the Trolls are wearing more lichen and carrying bigger clubs, there is a government inspector loose in his watch, he is expected to hire a Vampire of all things and Koom valley day, the historic start of dwarf-troll hatred, is looming along with a civil war. He must do something!

But every night without fail at 6:00 Sam Vimes must read "Where's my cow?" to his little son.

There are some things you have to do.

One at a time.

Reaper man, a discworld novel by Terry Pratchett

What happens when Death goes on holiday?

Windle Poons is 130 and like all good wizards he knows when he will die, it just happens to be tomorrow and he's been looking forward to it for a very long time.

After a bit of a party Windle Poons dies and his spirit leaves his body only to find that there is.... nowhere to go. Being a pragmatic sort of person Mr Poons goes back. He finds that as a dead person he is more alive, more in control and certainly more mobile than he has been in years.

Windle Poons begins to have fun...

A new zombie on the loose isn't the only odd thing happening on the Discworld, clothing is getting up and walking away, furniture is putting down roots and things are starting to float around. The cause of all this, it seems, is an excess of life. You see Death does not kill you, he just takes away your life and without him the life just floats around wondering what to do with itself.

The problem is that Death is having a holiday as a human pending his permanent and enforced retirement. The Auditors of Reality have decided that Death is too slow and nice and are bringing in a new model. So Death gets to find out what it means to be human and he likes it....

There are also strange snow globes appearing in the nooks and crannys of Anka-Morpork......

Classic Terry Pratchett book, not one of his better works in my opinion but as original and good as usual, worth a read anytime.

A balancing act

Making Money, a discworld novel by Terry Pratchett.

The post office is running smoothly on mountains of paperwork. Moist von Lipwig is tipped to become chairman of the merchants guild complete with goldish chain and he has a beautiful chain-smoking golem-hunting girlfriend Adora.

Moist von Lipwig is trapped in chains of goldish.....

When the old crook is offered a post as chairman of the Royal Mint and the Bank, his heart leaps at the chance to escape the boring bureaucracy, stifling security and the chains of goldish. He is warded off by the inbred insane and rich lavish family, the gold loving semi-vampiric Chief Cashier and the giant glowing gurgling glass Glooper lurking in the cellar.

Fearing death or worse Moist sadly declines the offer.

Then Mrs Lavish steps into his life. Current manager and chairman of the bank, a Mk1 feisty old lady with an embarrassing sense of humour and a gleeful pleasure in mild cruelty. As fast as she enters his life; she sadly exits hers. She inflicts a final cruel prod in her will, she leaves 50% of the banks shares to a small dog named Mr Fusspot who already owns one percent.

She then leaves the dog to one Moist Von Lipwig........

This leaves poor old Moist in exactly the same position he was trying to avoid. He is now the owner of, one Royal Mint that runs at a loss, one bank currently in dispute by the insane and rather murderous Lavishes and finally one very rich dog named Mr Fusspot who needs to go for walkies at least once per day.

This is a good yarn with a well put across message as well as being very very funny and insane................ Completely insanee Ha Hah Hah Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahahahahah!!!!

just kidding lol, this book is thoroughly recommended by me.

Selling the Sizzle.

Going Postal, a discworld novel by Terry Pratchett.

Moist Von Lipwig is a face in the crowd, even when he is by himself.

He uses his natural gifts of a unremarkable face, irresistible showmanship and a silver tongue to defraud, trick, pass false cheques and generally relieve fools of their money.

As fools like to keep hold of their various monies, some less than foolish persons have tracked him down, caught him and thrown him into an Ankh-Morpork jail cell for the six weeks he has before he is to be hanged. For six weeks Moist has been chipping away with a spoon at the crumbling mortar around the large stone in the wall to which he is chained. His spoon is now a stub, his mattress is full of mortar and the rock is almost free. One last tug and it is free and behind it he finds.......

.......... Another spoon, another rock and some suspiciously new mortar. He whimpers. The guards walk and see that the rock is free, one of them grumbles and hands the other some money.

After a short explanation of why he was led to believe he could win his freedom involving "occupational therapy", "keeps you from moping" and "the greatest gift of all, hope" he is taken to the gallows and hung. CRACK! The lights go out.

"Mr Lipwig, Have you ever heard of Angels?"

After being hung to within an inch of his life Moist von Lipwig is offered a choice, be hung for real or aid the ailing Ankh-Morpork postal service.

It is a tough decision.

I am a bit of a diehard Terry Pratchett fan but this is one of the prime examples of his work, just real enough to be believable but the situations and people are quite literally out of this world, a lively and likeable contrast to the normal and ploding plot lines of most other books, have fun reading it =)